Everybody expects the report to say they are a delight. They are very bright. They are pure as light. But they are small dogs Headmistress. I must report what I see. They are small dogs in packs or pairs, doing what small dogs do.

A girls' boarding school in the 1990s is no Malory Towers. Whilst Mimi learns her lines for John Proctor in the Christmas play, Janey desperately clings on to her best-friend status.

E V Crowe