Your smartphone isn't a tool-it's a puppet master in your palm, pulling strings of dopamine and dread with algorithmic precision. Welcome to the digital age's silent coup: a world where doomscrolling through disaster porn and excessive gooning (mindless screen-glazing, for the uninitiated) have replaced living. Your brain? A lab rat in Silicon Valley's Skinner Box. Your body? A hunched monument to Wi-Fi withdrawal.

Digital Detox isn't a self-help manual. It's a field guide for the resistance.

Your attention is the last uncorrupted currency. Stop auctioning it to the highest bidder. Reclaim your mind.

Warning: Side effects may include spontaneous eye contact, renewed hobbies, and the unnerving realization that sunlight exists.