Although the circumstances surrounding a death are difficult to handle at any age, adolescence brings with it challenges and struggles that until now have been largely overlooked. But in this unique and compassionate guide, renowned grief counselor Helen Fitzgerald turns her attention to the special needs of adolescents struggling with loss and gives them the tools they need to work through their pain and grief.
Writing not only about but also for teenagers, Fitzgerald adeptly covers the entire range of situations in which teens may find themselves grieving a death, whether the cause was old age, terminal illness, school violence, or suicide. She helps teens address the gamut of strong and difficult emotions they will experience and the new situations they will face, including family changes, issues with friends, problems at school, and the courage needed to move forward with one's own life.
Using the clear and accessible format that has made The Mourning Handbook and The Grieving Child enduring and helpful classics, Fitzgerald guides teens through everything from the sickbed to the funeral, from the first day back at school to the first anniversary of the death. Above all, she lets teens know that even in their darkest hour, they are not alone.
Autorentext
Helen Fitzgerald is an author and lecturer certified in thanatology by the Association for Death Education and Counseling. For twenty-three years she was the coordinator of the Grief Program for Mental Health Services in Fairfax County, Virginia, where she conducted many groups for adults, as well as for grieving children ranging from preschool age through the high school years. In July 2000 she retired from that position and then served as the director of training for the American Hospice Foundation. Her books include The Grieving Child, The Mourning Handbook, and The Grieving Teen.
Zusammenfassung
In this unique and compassionate guide, renowned grief counselor Helen Fitzgerald turns her attention to the special needs of adolescents struggling with loss and gives teens the tools they need to work through their pain and grief.Although the circumstances surrounding a death are difficult to handle at any age, adolescence brings with it challenges and struggles that until now have been largely overlooked. Writing not only about but also for teenagers, Fitzgerald adeptly covers the entire range of situations in which teens may find themselves grieving a death, whether the cause was old age, terminal illness, school violence, or suicide. She helps teens address the gamut of strong and difficult emotions they will experience and the new situations they will face, including family changes, issues with friends, problems at school, and the courage needed to move forward with one's own life. Using the clear and accessible format that has made The Mourning Handbook and The Grieving Child enduring and helpful classics, Fitzgerald guides teens through everything from the sickbed to the funeral, from the first day back at school to the first anniversary of the death. Above all, she lets teens know that even in their darkest hour, they are not alone.
Inhalt
FOREWORD BY EARL A. GROLLMAN
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER 1: WHEN LIFE HANGS IN THE BALANCE
1. NOT KNOWING IF YOU WANT TO KNOW
2. REACTING TO THE NEWS
3. SHOULD YOU TELL YOUR FRIENDS?
4. SHOULD YOU TELL YOUR TEACHERS?
5. ARE YOU THE REAL PARENT?
6. YOUR SOCIAL LIFE
7. WHO ELSE CAN YOU TALK TO?
8. SUPPORT GROUPS
9. THE HOSPICE MOVEMENT
10. FEELING SCARED
11. HOSPITAL VISITS
12. THE $64,000 QUESTION: AM I GOING TO DIE?
13. HELPING YOUR SIBLINGS
14. FEELING ANGRY
15. SAYING GOOD-BYE
16. SHOWING THAT YOU CARE
CHAPTER 2: WHEN DEATH COMES
17. DISCOVERING THE BODY
18. DO I WANT TO BE THERE WHEN HE DIES?
19. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
20. WHAT IS DEATH LIKE FOR THE DYING PERSON?
21. WHAT DOES A DEAD BODY LOOK OR FEEL LIKE?
22. WHY AM I SO WEAK AND JITTERY?
23. WHEN DEATH IS SUDDEN
24. HOW YOU FOUND OUT
25. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED
26. NO TIME TO SAY GOOD-BYE
27. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE DETAILS?
28. FLASHBACKS OR NIGHTMARES
29. WHEN YOU CAN'T CRY
CHAPTER 3: FUNERALS, FORMALITIES, AND FAREWELLS
30. WHY DO WE HAVE FUNERALS?
31. BUT WHAT IF IT HURTS TOO MUCH?
32. HELPING YOURSELF BY GETTING INVOLVED
33. THE VIEWING, VISITATION, OR WAKE
34. SITTING SHIVA
35. MEMORIAL SERVICES
36. THE BURIAL SERVICE
37. VISITING THE GRAVE
38. CREMATION
39. THE HEADSTONE
CHAPTER 4: UNDERSTANDING YOUR GRIEF
40. WHAT IS GRIEF? WHAT IS MOURNING?
41. HOW LONG IS GRIEF?
42. AM I NORMAL?
43. WHO AM I? I FEEL DIFFERENT
44. I CAN'T SLEEP
45. WHAT ABOUT DREAMS?
46. I CAN'T EAT
47. I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING
48. I CAN'T CONCENTRATE
49. CLOSE CALLS WHILE DRIVING
50. RESPONSES TO EXPECTED VERSUS SUDDEN DEATH
51. YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL AFFECT YOUR GRIEF
CHAPTER 5: UNDERSTANDING YOUR FEELINGS
52. SHOCK AND DISBELIEF
53. DENIAL: I WON'T ACCEPT THIS
54. ANGER: LIFE STINKS; IT'S NOT FAIR
55. GUILT AND REGRETS
56. DEPRESSION: I AM TOO SAD TO MOVE
57. I WANT TO DIE, TOO
58. FEARS AND WORRIES: I HAVE SO MANY CONCERNS
59. PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS
CHAPTER 6: ON RESUMING YOUR LIFE
60. HOW BEST TO ANNOUNCE THE NEWS
61. YOUR FIRST DAY BACK
62. YOUR GRADES
63. YOUR HOMEWORK
64. HELPING YOUR FRIENDS HELP YOU
65. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SEE A COUNSELOR?
66. MANAGING YOUR STRESS
CHAPTER 7: WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO HARD?
67. POSTPONING GRIEF
68. REMINDERS OF YOUR LOSS
69. IS IT OK TO ASK FOR KEEPSAKES?
70. WHEN DEATH COMES AT A REALLY BAD TIME
71. WHEN MORE THAN ONE PERSON HAS DIED
72. WHEN YOU CAN'T ATTEND THE FUNERAL
73. DEALING WITH THE PRESS
74. THE DEATH OF SOMEONE FAMOUS
75. HOLIDAYS, BIRTHDAYS, AND ANNIVERSARIES
76. DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES
77. TRICKS OF THE MIND
CHAPTER 8: TIGHTENING THE SCREWS
78. IF YOU WITNESSED THE DEATH
79. SURVIVOR GUILT: I SHOULD HAVE DIED INSTEAD
80. I CAUSED THE DEATH
81. SECRETS DISCOVERED AFTER A DEATH
82. DEALING WITH SUICIDE
83. MY BROTHER DIED OF AIDS
84. DEALING WITH MURDER
85. WHAT IS POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER (PTSD)?
CHAPTER 9: WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR ME?
86. WHAT IF MY PARENT STARTS DATING?
87. MAYBE SOME GUY WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY MOM
88. MOM IS GETTING MORE CALLS FOR DATES THAN I AM
89. I HAVE A CRUSH ON THE GUY WHO MOM IS DATING
90. I FEEL DISLOYAL TO MY MOM
91. MY DAD IS GETTING MARRIED
92. LIVING WITH A STEPPARENT
93. WILL I EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN?
94. HOW DO I KNOW THAT I AM GETTING BETTER?
CHAPTER 10: TEENS AND THEIR SECRETS
95. MEGAN
96. SCOTT
97. NATALIE
98. CYNTHIA
99. KAREN
CHAPTER 11: WHAT FRIENDS CAN DO
100. SHOULD YOU TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED?
101. PRACTICAL HELP YOU CAN PROVIDE
102. WHAT DO YOU TELL OTHER PEOPLE?
103. RELAYING WORD TO THE SCHOOL
104. KEEP AN EYE ON HOW YOUR FRIEND IS COPING
105. WHAT CAN YOU DO IF IT WAS YOUR FRIEND WHO DIED?
106. SECRETS TOO BIG TO HANDLE
107. DON'T GET INTO A SORROW COMPETITION
108. ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT SAYING SOMETHING STUPID?
109. OTHER THINGS TO AVOID
110. SOME GOOD THINGS TO SAY AND DO
111. BEING A FRIEND CARRIES RESPONSIBILITIES
CHAPTER 12: IS THAT ALL THERE IS?
RESOURCE LIST: HELPFUL BOOKS AND WEB SITES
OTHER BOOKS ON TEEN GRIEF
WEB SITES ON GRIEF
WEB SITES WITH INFORMATION ABOUT FUNERAL PRACTICES IN VARIOUS FAITHS
INDEX