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#1 I had been placed with four other freshmen in Hill House: Santos, Gabe, Max, and Kyle. The suite came to resemble a ruinous, burgeoning landfill. I felt out of place, constantly anxious. I wasn't cut out for college.

#2 I was accepted to Sarah Lawrence, a college my mom had gone to. I was one of the least weird people there, and the unofficial school slogan was, We're different, so are you.

#3 I had chosen a poetry workshop at Sarah Lawrence College because it sounded easy, and because I had written some poetry for English classes in high school. It was one of the few things I did that seemed to make teachers notice me.

#4 I became close friends with Santos, and we often hung out alone. I started working at the student shuttle bus at midnight to three a. m. , which mostly involved me speeding and idling. I would listen to music and watch the wind buffet the pine trees.