Grognar 3: Grognar and the Accountancy of Doom is a hilariously bureaucratic descent into dungeon madness-an adventure where the sharpest blades are spreadsheets, and the deadliest traps come with glitter warnings.
Grognar, once a brutish Goregoblin with dreams of dungeon domination, has finally claimed his lair. But The Whispering Labyrinth is no ordinary death trap-it's now a health-and-safety nightmare of mimics, motivational skulls, and sparkle-based fatalities. With his minions loyal (ish), his assistant D.A.V.E. snarky as ever, and his traps wildly unsafe, Grognar should be thriving.
But then... the envelope arrives.
A hiss. A twitch. A signature required in blood.
A tax audit.
Thus begins a new kind of terror-one of forms, fines, and fiscal doom. Grognar and his oddball crew are forced to journey to the infernal realms to recruit Louise, a tiefling accountant so composed she can frighten demons into compliance and cook pakoras during a raid. With clipboard in hand and a hell hound named Nellie at her side, Louise isn't just efficient-she's lethal.
Meanwhile, back at the Guild of Heroes, the original adventuring party-now retired, traumatized, and permanently glittered-are forced to relive their ordeal during a terrifying audit session with Bertram the Unwaivable, a gnome so grim his briefcase is a mimic too scared to move. As they recount tales of sparkly bunnies and emotionally scarring boops, it becomes clear: this dungeon isn't just dangerous, it's deeply... procedural.
As the audit intensifies, Grognar must expand his dungeon or risk reclassification as a "haunted closet with ambition." That means new traps, more paperwork, and even more glitter. Louise leads the charge, Barry the sentient paperwork stack embarks on a romantic quest to win the heart of an elite filing cabinet, and Petunia begins redecorating the trap corridors for "maximum sparkle-based confusion."
Between disco-based deathtraps, surprise therapy pole-dancing pixies, and enchanted snack carts, the chaos escalates. With Bertram moving in, kobolds fearing Comic Sans, and a dungeon forced to file in triplicate-only one thing is certain: compliance has never been this catastrophic.
Grognar 3 is a tale of fire, filing, and fierce financial footnotes. If you've ever wondered what happens when a goblin gets audited, when love blossoms between filing systems, or how to survive a glitter bunny with teeth-this is your book.
Autorentext
Mark Adams is 43 (so he says) writes fiction that's dark, funny, and occasionally smells like grave dirt. Specialising in fantasy and humour, he crafts stories full of sentient paperwork, malfunctioning resurrection systems, and the kind of dungeons that would give OSHA an aneurysm.
He's currently working on Norman Reed (Not Reedus)?a gloriously grim and graphic series following a grumpy gravedigger, his undead sidekick, and the broken respawn system that ruined everything (again).
When not knee-deep in plot holes and sarcastic footnotes, Mark can be found arguing with goblins, sharpening metaphors, or misplacing important plot devices in cursed filing cabinets. He believes a thesaurus is a weapon, not a tool, and has no intention of writing anything "normal."