Life was perfectly normal for me, Lord Alphie, an honourable gentleman; my word's as good as gold, I'm built of tradition's solid brass -Because I have a Westminster family history, I'm an Englishman of class - Staid, predictable, organized, ordered, compartmentalized; from day to day, my routine went unchallenged; filed neatly under A to Zee, immaculately arranged, impeccably managed; nothing changed a jot Then in a nanosecond, fast as a foot of lightning travels, everything changed - a lot! My whole life instantaneously unravelled....Now I'm totally, wildly, out of my tree Since the day a MEERCAT moved in with me!