A hilarious exploration of male-female communication and other momentous topics

Men don't tell women things for various reasons.

1. The things in question may not be true.
2. It is better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a pig than to open it and oink.
3. There is a certain pleasure in holding certain considerations close to the chest.
4. When there is a topic that might complicate a situation in which a woman is pleased for a man to hold her close to his chest, a man does not want to mess with it.
5. It is hard to be manly while making pained moaning sounds.
6. Men, whether or not they have the Right Stuff, have never quite gotten a secure grip on the concept of the Wrong Thing.
The more Roy Blount Jr. thought about what men don't tell women, the more he began to realize that nearly all of his writing involved things people don't tell people. Things the sick don't tell the well, things southerners don't tell northerners, things authors don't tell readers, things all too few of us tell anyone at all. But especially the things men don't tell women. This riotous collection of classic Blount humor is chock full of those gender trade secrets-and plenty of yodeling too.

Roy Blount Jr. is the author of twenty-three books. The first, About Three Bricks Shy of a Load, was expanded into About Three Bricks Shy . . . and the Load Filled Up. It is often called one of the best sports books of all time. His subsequent works have taken on a range of subjects, from Duck Soup, to Robert E. Lee, to what cats are thinking, to how to savor New Orleans, to what it's like being married to the first woman president of the United States.
Blount is a panelist on NPR's Wait Wait . . . Don't Tell Me!, an ex-president of the Authors Guild, a usage consultant for the American Heritage Dictionary, a New York Public Library Literary Lion, and a member of both the Fellowship of Southern Writers and the band the Rock Bottom Remainders.
In 2009, Blount received the University of North Carolina's Thomas Wolfe Prize. The university cited "his voracious appetite for the way words sound and for what they really mean." Timeplaces Blount "in the tradition of the great curmudgeons like H. L. Mencken and W. C. Fields." Norman Mailer has said, "Page for page, Roy Blount is as funny as anyone I've read in a long time." Garrison Keillor told the Paris Review, "Blount is the best. He can be literate, uncouth, and soulful all in one sentence."
Blount's essays, articles, stories, and verses have appeared in over one hundred and fifty publications, including the New Yorker, the New York Times, Esquire, the Atlantic, Sports Illustrated, the Oxford American, and Garden & Gun. He comes from Decatur, Georgia, and lives in western Massachusetts.