I can't believe they fired me!

I mean I could have done without the pomp and circumstance of being bodily thrown from the department store. How was I to know that I was a raging lunatic? No one had told me that until that day. I mean, according to Pierre Marie Jerk-nad, I was a true wad of bonkers. Lost to the realms of the drooling and eating my own crap.

Well, I can attest to right now that I have never eaten my own crap.

And whatever I'd done to make him think I was a raging lunatic I was going to try to avoid today, because today I started my new job.

And I forgot to put on underwear.