Book One of the Epic Fail Series
Cassie has no interest in being the Chosen One™. She barely has interest in being awake. Between her job as shift manager at a coffee shop that may or not eat its patrons, cursed espresso machines, and a talking cat with attitude issues, her life is already chaotic enough.
Unfortunately, fate has deadlines-and it's getting pushy.
When a sword arrives singing ABBA and binds itself to her aura, Cassie does what any sensible not-a-hero would do: she tries to return it to sender. Unfortunately, destiny has a no-refunds policy-and all the persistence of an extended warranty telemarketer.
Now she's magically tethered to Rick, a brooding ex-Chosen One with the emotional availability of a damp scone and a secret past no one asked about. Together, they trigger time loops, meteorological meltdowns, and a prophecy enforcement squad that really needs a hobby. Every refusal only makes the universe more determined to shove them onto the hero's journey-preferably in matching T-shirts.
Armed with sarcasm, a cursed coffee machine, and absolutely no desire to save anything, Cassie is about to prove that some quests are best left uncompleted. Especially the ones with singing squirrels.
Destiny's Reject kicks off the Epic Fail:A Hero's Journey in Five Mistakes series-a gloriously irreverent parody of every hero's journey that ever took itself too seriously.
Autorentext
Verity Farcett writes the books you never knew you needed?until you tripped over them.
From Regency romps with weaponized scandals to epic fantasies where the Chosen One probably isn't, Verity skewers every genre trope she can get her quill on. Her stories blend absurdity, wit, and sideways logic, delivering plots that spiral gloriously out of control while somehow still hitting every satisfying emotional beat.
Whether it's historical romance, heroic quests, or gothic melodrama, no trope is safe?but every adventure is written with a suspicious amount of affection for the genre she's dismantling. If you like earnest disasters, reluctant heroes, and plots that fight back, you'll find your next favorite catastrophe right here.
When she isn't orchestrating fictional disasters, Verity can be found communing with her Tufted Roman goose, Toni?muse, menace, and inspiration for all honking hijinks.