Ryan Noman is stuck in a house on a dead end street in a dying city, a loveless relationship, and a job where the owner challenges his employees to fights in the parking lot. He also has a mystery rash. When Ryan's best friend, Gus, convinces him they need to contaminate the source of the artisanal bottled water facility where they work, Ryan goes along with it because, hey, what else is he going to do? This proves to be another bad choice in an increasingly lengthening list of bad choices in Ryan's life. It changes everything, leaving both Ryan and Gus transformed. Thus begins Ryan's oddly comic stumbling through his dark night of the soul in a book best described as "self-help for the helpless."