"e;But I can't cook! I hear you sob. I can't even boil an egg! Fear not - this book will show you how. This is a recipee book wiv a difference. In the middle you'll find a hole section devoted to learnin how to cook, told in simple, easy-to-follow steps what even Donald Trump could understand (on a good day). And none of yer poncy condom-blur shit - nosh you can actchilly eat!"e; DICKHEAD DAVE "e;One of the funniest books I've ever read!"e; THE GAY NEWSAGENT IN KEMPTOWN "e;A dazzling roller-coaster ride of laughter, tears and heartfelt humanity."e; POGOSTICK POGSON "e;I still ain't read it."e; ROB THE KNOB "e;A fuckin pile of old poo!"e; MAD MICK McGREGOR "e;Shockingly shite!"e; DAILY MAIL